I miss you!
Saturday, 22 August 2015
@ 09:00
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Assalamualaikum.


Wow! How long has it been since I’ve updated this blog? It’s been so long I don’t even know where to start ha! I’ve thought about updating this blog every once in a month but I guess things got a bit busy after the mid-year term hahaha. But since today is—not to brag but, my birthday, I guess I should update this blog, and like tell you guys how my life has been these past few months.


Well um, Alhamdulillah I have to say because for the past few months, I haven’t been crying a lot haha! Well, ada la times where I cry but thank God it’s not about boys anymore hahaha; most of the times I’d cry about my parents, and my studies and sometimes about my friends too a.k.a Adriana hahaha. For your information, Adriana now studies in another school because of, some reasons that is inevitable. I did not cry when she moved away, but it was very emotional. I miss her, I truly do. There was this one time where she visited us with me knowing about it lol but my reaction when I saw her was as if it’s been years since I last saw her. Faham tk? She’s just been away for like a week and ugh, I just miss her.

I miss seeing her face to face, I miss hearing her voice—especially her laugh hahaha. I miss her presence the most la. It would be nice if I got to spend time with her again. Sigh.


About my parents, it’s not that things between me and my parents are getting rough, I mean like it used to; but not anymore I guess?? Because there was a time where I got to express how I truly feel about them to my sister and I swear I bawled my eyes that night. I regret doing it, but there’s a part of me that is relieved that now, someone knows how I feel. I don’t want to write it all down about how I felt about them because I worry that I would cry and like, think bad about them hahahaha. So let’s just say that things between me and my parents are now okay, stabilized haha!

But I would be lying if I said that I haven’t been stressed out about my studies. I’m literally stressed out that sometimes I feel like just, quitting. No, I did not regret taking the science stream because there’s parts of it that are fun you know, like the experiments and discovering things that you had no idea could exist. It’s tiring, I give you that but there are times where it’s so fun studying physics and chemistry. Additional mathematics is so fun! But of course, I failed it in the mid-year examination but oh I pray so, so, much that I would at least get an E on the final cries

Being in a class full of smartass people is so, gosh exhausting! I feel like switching my brain to the kid who got #1 in the class and never return it back, I just want to be smart cries I just want to prove to my parents that I can do it I can study in the science stream sigh.. Why is it so hard..

But final is just like, 2 months (a month actually ehem) away and sigh, how am I going to do this hahaha!


But aside from that, I met this one guy who is really, really, really nice and gosh, there’s times where I feel like slapping myself and there are times where I feel like crying because of his perfections. Seriously, let me list it down for you;
·         He is smart
·         He is kind
·         He can cook
·         He is so, so, so caring
·         Protective I give you that
·         He plays basketball! Omg!!
·         He can drive a car and a motorcycle huh huh
·         He prays full time 5 times a day a night
·         He always reminds me of the good and bad
·         He has such a nice voice! Like he can sing and gosh when he recites the Quran, I just.. [dreamy sigh]
·         He is tall, like, so tall he’s like what 181cm holy sh

Of course there are his cons too but I don’t want to think about it like, why would you think about the bad side of someone when there is the good side of him? kan? Although he’s not like Farriz and Syazwan, at least he excels in the things that the both of them lack.

He’s just so nice that sometimes I got afraid that what if there will come a day when I will like—all of a sudden get bored of him. I’m just so afraid that I’m gonna ignore him like the rest of the guys that I got bored with and gosh, it hurts me to think that. I don’t want to break his heart huhu his parents already know me! I mean like, his dad met me twice and his mom wants to meet with my parents and I’m just like woah there! We’re not ever guaranteed that we are each others’ soul mates? Have you guys like ever thought what’s gonna happen after SPM? I don’t even know if he will still treat me the way he does now like, I’m not even sure if we’re still the way we are after SPM.

I don’t want to get my hopes up you know? Things end badly when I get my hopes up. I just wish for the best.





There are times where I would look back and think, what would happen if Farriz didn’t get bored of me? Like, if he’d use the second chance that I gave him properly, would he still be with me? There are times where I want Farriz to regret letting me go, and would come back to steal me. Ok not steal me but like, try to get me back.

It’s such a pity that things ended up this way.

The only thing that I kept on thinking yesterday was, “Is he going to wish me as well?” “Would things get better after he wishes me?” “Are we going to be like how we used to?”

But as I said earlier, things end badly when I get my hopes up.

He didn’t wish me at all.

It’s sad but, what can I do right?




So um yeah! That’s basically it hahahaha. And this is the end of my birthday.  

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