Friday, 30 October 2015
@ 08:14
comment?(0)
This has been the 5th day of
our final examination and as I was reading the Pendidikan Islam’s reference
book, I queued up to buy a Nasi Lemak for my lunch. I could see from the
corners of my eyes that a few guys were gonna walk up behind me and all of a
sudden, I recalled the moment where I thought I was groped and so I stiffen
myself and hoped that I won’t have to be feeling it again. But somehow my eyes
averted from the ground to my right side and there he is..
The moment we made eye contact I decided
to break it as I am afraid of what’s coming up next; and so eye contacts were
made and broke and thoughts were running back and forth in my head as the only
thing that I’m registering was how much I miss him. And as thoughts of hope
began to rise in my head, it was quickly brought down by waves of assumptions;
Reasons why I should
give up on him:
·
He’s
obviously moved on
·
He
found someone new to love and to treasure
·
He
only considers me as a ‘friend’ and nothing more
·
He
doesn’t care about me as much as I do about him
·
I
am nothing to him
·
I
am just ‘one of his girls’
·
I’m
not good enough for him
·
He
shows no absolute effort on ‘us’
·
He’s
an asshole
Reasons why I should
not give up on him:
·
Hope
And at that second have I realized, no
matter what I’ve been through because of him, no matter how much tears and time
that I’ve wasted on him, I would still give him another chance if he ever comes
back. Even if now I’m just a ‘friend’ to him, he will always that kind of friend to me.
I was
made for loving you,
Even
if we’re may be hopeless hearts just passing through;
Every
bone screaming, “I don’t know what we should do”,
All I
know is darling; I was made for loving you
And at that second have I realized, he is
my first love..
xo
(P/s #1: I wasn’t really groped? But it
was on the same situation where I was queuing up to buy my Nasi Lemak when all
of a sudden I kind of felt like a hand on my butt. Not like it grabbed or
squeezed or something like that but just like a simple touch. The thing is, I know
it was a guy behind me and so, there’s like no way it could be a girl. But then
again I only felt it after he went away so.. i.. don’t know????)
(P/s #2: This is cliché as fuck but I
stayed up last night without sleeping at all and I just need to let some things
out I can’t take it anymore—with these thoughts of final and him I just; I need
to sleep goodnight lovely hearts)
Labels: f:farriz
